My daughter's anklets

A gentle chime, the pitter-patter of tiny feet on the plain floor, groggy steps to find her mothership.

Her eyes full of sleep and body swaying as she walks, a cuddle is what she seeks and waits for my open arms.

Thus begin our days, seeking each other out, for everyone needs a hug.

It wasn't always like this, she would wake up and cry. For she was still a baby and always wanted me nearby.

She learned to call out, i taught her that and she even learnt to climb out of bed

Though i was a proud mom, folks around got me worried. "She isn't walking yet", they said. "Look how weak she is" , they said

I rallied on, trusting my child and giving her her time, what's there to hurry up when she has been doing just perfectly fine.

One fine day, out of the blue, after taking hesitant steps between the table and the stool; there  my champion was walking in style, hands in the air celebrating her stride

My daughter's anklets, her sweet innocence. Her perseverance and confidence,  her independence and my dependence.

Kanji Files!

As a downed a glass of warm Kanji this morning, a black and white wheel started whirling in my mind. I was transported to the days of my attending early morning classes.

I would be woken up by my human alarm, my Mom and would quickly proceed to get ready. The classes would start early by 6:15 am and I would have to leave home by 5:50 latest. There was no excuse for dragging my feet as I had paid hefty fees and it was the only means to show my commitment to the course I had taken up.

I would invariably be late and sneak in to the empty chairs in the last rows, mostly amongst the boys. I didn't make any friends then, it was only me spending a sleepy morning and then whizzing off to work. I had my apprenticeship to be at, so had very little time to stay back for chit chat. Every morning, Mom would make fresh Kanji (porridge) for me to drink after classes. As I gulped down a glass today, I found myself time travelling.

The best part was however the brisk walks in the crisp morning air, rushing from home to the bus stop and more hurried walking from the stop to classes. After the classes I would again set off by foot to my workplace, which was a kilometre and a half away.

Today, as I am getting ready for a visit to my child's paediatrician, I shall also ride down the memory lane. The coaching centre and the doctor's clinic are just two streets away.

Porridge is a Dish, Kanji is an Emotion.

It is just a phase!

Six months since the begining of the year and I now realise that nothing much has happened. Rather, I haven't done much in these six months

We all look for hobbies to satisfy our urge to do something and many a times struggle to find the right one. I was pretty successful in identifying my favourite pursuits. I was an ardent reader and also wrote a lot. Unfortunately, I find myself using these in the past tense because I have ceased to read and write.

Can there be any explanation for why one stops doing something they liked a lot?

I can call it a phase. A break from reading and a small bit of writer's block. But six months is a long time and feels like the year might slip away before I get to accomplish something.

I did read a book, a classic at that. So I can at least be consoled that I haven't lost the taste. Managed to write a few blog posts and haven't lost the flair. Still it is far behind the voracity with which I used to read or the speed with which ideas and words formed in my mind.

These days I find myself addicted to YouTube, watching video after video and letting time fly. I used to be a TV addict and now this seems to be the next one. With the smart phone in hand I find I am constantly refreshing my FB page and checking for watsapp messages. Though I do not suffer from the Selfie syndrome, these are equally devastating and as I write these words, I realise that it is just blocking my creativity and numbing the brain.

Realising what is happening is the first step in righting the wrong and since I have identified the cause, I soon hope to break from this phase and do something fruitful.

Incidentally I have crossed 150 posts on this blog. Yay me!

An Homage to my Aunt

When the earth shook and rattled the people of Nepal, my Aunt had already bade good-bye to her mortal remains. It all happened very fast. A living breathing and talking person was no more. A very set of sombre days followed.

The whole family mourned her and by recollecting fond memories, celebrated her life. With technology to our aid, we shared and shared various anecdotes and paid homage to the Dear Departed.

A natural teacher that she was, her teaching me in my primary years play itself on my mind. It was in her company that I had begun reading books and it was to her that I would write letters. Simple books and really simple letters, when I was in Class 1. At that age of 5, when I began forming sentences, her guidance led me to develop great interest in reading and writing. Whatever language I can boast of today, she honed the skills

Though over the years life casued some drifting apart, I will forever remember reading Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

She would constantly remind me that "One Word Answers" are most important, "they will fetch you marks". She led the way to learning in an organised manner and tutored me on various good manners. We were polite children but her lessons in being well mannered made us even better.

I do feel some regret for the oppurtunities lost, but console myself that I was able to meet her before she said her goodbyes.

A void left by her, felt greatly by everyone close to her. She will forever be missed. A great lady, who led a very simple life and whose kind heart has bestowed blessings on all and sundry
It deeply saddens me to think of her, I can still hear her calling my name and the joy on her face when she finds me at her doorstep. Saddens me for the young and innocent days I spent in her company and now there seems no way of remembering them without realising that they are lost forever

She did a lot of charity and was a very selfless woman. She loved her family and very loyal in her friendships. Her inner-strength is an inspiration to all.

Her final ceremonies were conducted peacefully and we all felt a sense of satisfaction. The sense of well being that is normally a sign of great positivity. She was always full of it. A very positive person. It felt like she had decided to turn a Guardian Angel and watch upon us. Her love was so selfless and unexpecting.

A true ROLE MODEL. Athi as we all called her, she surely showed how to live life and how to live on people's hearts.

45 days to account

Promises are made to be broken and as I sheepishly type this, I do wish to state that I have my reasons for not making the promised post after the end of each month.

March got over with a bit of suspense and April dawned with a pleasant surprise. The reason was one and the same. I am an Aunt now to a beautiful little baby boy.

The days and months leading to it had moved at a very slow pace but things moved quickly once the little one was ready to see the world. And being the loving aunt that I was, I turned busy watching over the little one, whether he was dosing off to sleep or staring at nothing in particular. With all the coochy-cooing, a blog post was no where in the thoughts that possessed my mind.

March was a bit slow but not too bad. I had to visit bangalore and after four long months, the place felt different, the very same strangeness I had felt when I had moved in to a new home. I carressed the walls and re-lived the memories associated with them.All this emotion in just these few months of separation.

Life once back home was more towards getting back in the groove after almost a week long break. There had been feeble attempts to set a healthier routine. An attempt to wake early and go for a walk and then go for a swim. However my plans went to the drain when sleep turned cosier under the soothing chill air from the AC. My lazy bones just needed a little encouragement to pull up the bedsheet closer and dose off for a few more minutes. As for the swimming, it was easy to call the water dirty and stay away and it was truly dirty cause of all the summer revellers soaking in it. A relook at the price tag on my swimming dress would promt me to done it and dunk in. Money is powerful that way.

There was a better chance at making more money this march as I had a little extra work to do and got rewarded duly. Housework definetly yields no financial rewards. You put in more efforts than a maid but get no remuneration. Whatever money comes in to your hands are towards household expenses. But the satifaction I get while walking on the freshly cleaned floors or while putting away clean vessels or stacking freshly washed clothes, is as good as seeing money coming in to my account. Ultimately, doing things that satisfy you and make you happy is more important. Probably my comfortable position in life allows me these luxurious statements and maybe I would be rushing to work otherwise. For now, I shall stick to satisfaction as the ultimate reward

Should say March was not really eventful and the only thing I did additionally was to start reading again. Slow progress is happening on the classic "Gone With the Wind".

April with the baby has been very amusing. Watching the little one has been a great source of entertainment. The rains that came added to the refreshment. The remaining days of April or even the months to come will mostly be spent in company of the little friend who would progress from plain staring, to laughing, kicking and crawling.

Lots of things to look forward to and hopefully lots of things to do. One thing though, I have left behind the habit of lazy sulking, which has greatly improved my days and quality of life.

Once again, a promise to write more often escapes from within and a prayers accompanies that I should be able to maintain it this time at least. The 45 days so far have been good and will come back with more about the days to come.

Copy That!

So you sit and watch a zillion movies cause you are a movie buff. I mean myself. With nothing much to ask for entertainment, I end up watching one movie a week at least. That gave me a chance to come up on these few cases

1. Pazhaya pattu pudavai

The heroine is rushing to an exam and finds that there is a strike called by some political party. Hero comes up with an ingenious idea and takes her in a vehicle that is advertising money for old silk sarees. Hero takes over the mic and starts making an impromptu announcement supporting the strike. The advertisement recording takes over but somehow the hero manages to cover up the goof and manages to get the heroine to her destination. This is from the Tamil Movie - Ethir Neechal (2013)

Heroine has an interview and she and her mom arrive in the city to realise that a strike is on. Hero steps in an fetches a taxi for them however the taxi is a advertising one. So the hero improvises and speaks for the strike. The audio of the ad kicks in but the hero manages to out do it and successfully manages to get the heroine to the interview. This is from the Malyalam Movie - Achuvinte Amma (2005)


2. Body in a Jaadi - Asthi ke saath masti

Ashes of a beloved are in a Vase. The narrator takes the story forward. Thinking selfishly, she loots a vase containing the ashes and keeps blackmailing her step-brother with it. Finally she reveals that they have been moved in to another container and are safe.

The narrator and his friend take posession of a vase containing ashes and blackmails a guy for information. Finally they reveal that the same was in a different vase all the while.

The first is from 1998 movie The Opposite of Sex and the inspired version is 3 IDIOTS (2009).

Sure you will see more compilations elsewhere but these were my own observations. Not copied from anywhere else.

The February Roundup!!

February had just 28 days and thank God for that. Which only means the coffers will get re-filled earlier than usual

This was a month of celebrations and hence the depletion of resources. Yes! Celebrations.

Kicking off the events was Parents' Wedding Anniversary!! Did nothing earth shattering but went for a surprise visit. Then felt guilty for not doing much about it and therefore followed it up with a compensatory visit the following week. This trip was to mainly take my mother on a shopping spree and also get something for dad.

Mid-Feb was the World Famous valentine's day and in other news, 15th Feb was my wedding day. Yes, it was indeed. However with husband away and me at parents', it was an odd day. We couldn't even speak on the phone. Then come evening 6, surprise surprise there he is at the door! It turned to be a very pleasant evening and a very quiet and simple 6th Anniversary spent together.

The celebrations continued with Dad's birthday. We had a simple visit to the temple early morning and spent the day together with breakfast, lunch and dinner at home. Of course the new clothes were worn and lots of pictures were taken. Dad finally took his first digi-cam selfie and I was at my 689th.

Also in other news, visited bangalore after almost 2.5 months. Strangely it felt as if nothing had changed, that we had not moved out at all. But the visit was very short and was soon on the way back.

The last part of Feb was where I was exhausting reserves. I wound up with a low cash balance, low bank balance, low call balance and a low battery all on the same evening. It was a strange feeling to be stuck like that. Ofcourse on reaching home everything was back to normal.

The one thing lagging though is my Time Management. My reading and hobbies have taken a back seat and I just wonder when will I get back to them. It was only with great determination that I managed to pen this roundup.

Just praying that I find my RHYTHM by end of March!

31 days of Jan

With inspired writing not flowing, I decided to make a log. Here it goes about Jan

Apart from the routine cleaning and cooking and cleaning there was a lot of lazing and procrastination. There was guilt and there was laziness. There was dust everywhere and work left pending and I'd make excuses to myself for doing it later. I guess it was my relocation blues working extra hours that made me while away my time in a mild stupor.

With this knowledge, ever since I have been trying to be more hands on and less postponing. The progress is there. Lots better than before. I still sit lazy but at least work gets done.

There was also my surrendering my long held library membership. After having voracoiusly read book after book for almost a year and a half, I finally realised that a break is needed. With the subscription going up, it was easier to decide. I hope to get back to active reading once again. However have to wait till I start to miss them books badly.

Jan was filled with cakes and pasteries and the realisation that I had gained a lot of weight. The weight and cakes were not related but then the cakes didn't help much either. My love for cakes and chocolates is an age old one. Something that I get easily tempted by.

Many other non-consequential things happened and still happen. But I can say that after almost 2 months I've finally settled down. A routine is in place, something that I can rely on and start planning based on. Uncertainity is something that I can hardly put up with. With home base reasonably set, I do feel a lot relaxed and whole lot in control.

That was basically Jan. A week of Feb has already flown by but the musings on that will be for later.

I also Vow to keep the writing alive.

Belated HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Finally the long overdue post for the new year is here. I had a lot to round up on the year past and really no idea of what to say about the year born.

2014 was a year of zillion earth shattering changes in my life. Changes for the better. There is no other way to sum up them all. Life before and after each of the events has been different. There has a learning, a lesson for life.

The year began with the biggest event and the most looked forward one. My sister's wedding. Although it did make me feel a bit mature and extremely responsible, I thoroughly enjoyed the challenges of being at the center of all the action and managing to do all what we had planned. Little stressful, hey but it's once in a lifetime!

Learnt to ride a bike and I can call the best thing to happen to me. My bike and I have begun a long term relationship and going steady. It was a wonderful experience from self doubt to struggling for balance till finally getting my license. Have a lucky penny in my keychain and just like that I am happy !

The third biggest change was of course was saved for the last part of the year. Dec'14 I officially moved back to Chennai. With mixed feelings I left the foster city and moved back to home ground. Having fun exploring the city with a different perspective than before.


If there is something about 2014 I can say, then probably that it revealed my inner strength. I can always look back to it at any hour for guidance. A power and punch packed year it was.

And then 2015 was born.

Well have to wait for 12 months to have something to say. No speculations!

Litte Delights!

Originally submitted in http://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/2013/06/little-delights/


“SWISH”

“BOOM”

“KABOOM”


The sights and sounds welcomed him. Riding back in to homeland, after good long years in another country, his head automatically turned skywards, admiring the vibrant display of fireworks. He was really back home.

Change and Hope!

I woke one morning with just the usual thoughts; a plan for a warm shower, a plan to finish a book and a plan for a nice nap. But it was not to be. A phone call later I was getting ready for Work.

I have a strange relationship with Work; we meet only once in a while and mostly because a zero bank balance sets us up on a date.

Coffee Break!!

Attempt to tell a story. Leave your reviews as comments if you please

Part 1

The cup of coffee in her hands was still hot. The vending machine was the most sought after in the office. It was also the perfect place for a good bit of gossip and some girl time. Pallavi’s friends were all from different floors and different departments. After spending hours in front of the computer studying project reports, preparing quotes, following up with the site offices and

A tale of two wheels and a CAST!

I knew this day was coming but I did not know that it would be so close on the heels of triumph. Within a month managed to get my Driving license, drive 30 kms a day and crash land from the bike. Yes, Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall.

So Dear Me was getting to work. As always  I focussed on looking the part and being a big day et al, spent an extra few minutes on the looks department. Eyes lined with khol, hair fragrant from shampoo, lips shimmering with gloss, cheeks powdered up and a trail of my perfume following me.

A Tale of Two Wheels!

I was always being followed. ALWAYS. But never once did the Moon catch me when I was riding in my Dad's Bike.

A Blue TVS Suzuki AX 100 R. That's where my joyride began. For many years I rode in the pillion, on the tank, in the pillion on mom's lap, in the pillion drenched in rain, on the tank leaning to one side cause I was growing tall.

Then came turn for me to ride on friend's bikes.

A Train Ride..

Yesterday was a day filled with nostalgia. The morning was busy with not a minute to rest. I had an incessant cough and plenty of chores to complete before catching my mid-day ride.

I was on board the train, drugged, drowsy and tired, fast asleep even before the TT could confirm who I was. After over an hour of being under a Coma, I woke up.

This is not how I usually travel. I bury my head in a book or drown myself in music. I was too weary to indulge in any of them and just decided to look out.

Voila!

The Wedding!

So lots of things have been happening in life. Some trivial and some major. Major being my sister's wedding and trivial being settling back to normalcy post the event.

The wedding was a big thing. She was the last of all our cousins to get married and the youngest of the lot too. Everyone was present, either in the wedding hall or in front of their computers. Yes, we webcast it. It was a huge responsibility as my expert opinion was needed for everything, from the purchase of a safety pin to the selection of the groom. That's right!

After days and weeks of make up trials and accessory shopping, the D-Day arrived and it whizzed past us.

Lots of things happened and lots of things went really fast. I just remember being on my toes

The year that was!

So the year is drawing to a close. It calls for a commemorative post. Only when December is born, does the reality of 12 months flying past hit home.

The New Year began with an alarm  and not with resolutions. In fact at the stroke of midnight, I was in deep sleep. Nothing eventful of the day per say but the birth of the New Year always gives a sense of hope for starting new things and probably a sense that a miracle is around the corner.

I had expected this year to be special with many things coming my way.

My Grandmother

What do you want to become? They ask you as a child. We mouthed things like Doctor, Lawyer, Teacher etc. I sure did. For Role models, we would mouth names like Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi and all other freedom fighters and great leaders and scientists that we have been taught.

As you grow older, everything changes. The role models now cease to be characters from our history books but rather people who have lived alongside us and influenced our thoughts, words and deeds.

It takes age and time to realise this and when you do, something like this comes about.

My Grandmother

Introspection!

Now let me talk about my merits

Oh my! Nothing much to say.

And looking at my list of de-merits

It just puts me to shame

What about my many achievements?

Sorry, none really worth the while

At least my talents

Oh Please! Just dabbling here and there

Everything Happens for a Reason!

When something is HAPPENING you undergo various emotions and notions on what is going on and what is to come. Till such event completely unfolds, you are only left with two choices viz., be anxious or be calm.

ANXIOUS:

It was an usual working day's start. I had just laid out my laptop and was wondering what I had to do today. As my attention turned to my yet to start computer, an error blinked at me. My initial blank reaction soon turned frantic as I kept trying hopelessly for some magic to work by a mere restart.

The laptop was Dead.