I am a total mess. Sitting here, in a restaurant, looking in to a menu and unable to decide. Well not about what I want to eat, rather what do I tell this guy sitting at the table with me.
Hi, I am Stupid Girl. Yup, that's my name. Well not my birth name but I felt that this one suits me better given what I am prone to, Stupidity. Dad still calls me Princess, wait till he hears about the things I do. Still he is too soft and loving that he would turn a deaf ear to all that being said.
Back to where I am right now. At a restaurant, hiding behind a menu and trying to think of something, anything. Just then my stupid brain decides to go on a little memory tour and I fail to resist.
It all began a few weeks back, two to be exact. I had to take up a communications training as part of my college thing. The less said the better. I was actually being video-taped when I gave my speech, which was exciting and then they relayed it to the whole class, making me an example on how not to stand wide-footed when on a stage. Embarrassing. To the point, in the training, there was a guy, the same guy. I saw him when he came up for his speech, never seen him before. When he finished his speech and returned to his seat, my eyes followed him, which was just out of habit. Suddenly he looked up and our eyes met. Again EMBARRASSING. I did not will it nor wish it. I knew that now on it would be more of 'look here and look there and look if he is looking back'.
A typical story, we ended up being on the same group to work on a presentation and just by the mere chance of locking eyes, I became his focal point. Wherever I went, I could see him, despite having 28 other guys and girls around. Okay, it was a small crowd but whenever I looked he would be looking at me.
Finally on our presentation day, he found me alone and immediately asked me out for a COFFEE. Innocent request and I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to be rude and so I agreed to meet him Friday at 5.
Which brings us rather me right here and right now.
Stupid brain. Instead of focusing on how to answer, it goes on a trip. I quietly peer over the edge of the menu and watch him give his order to the waitress.I have to make up my mind. For the moment I just go with "I'll have the same". But that doesn't answer THE question.
The question in question is his question on whether I would be his girlfriend.
Where is the "LIKE"? I would have preferred "would you like to be my girlfriend" rather than "be my girlfriend" accompanied by pleading eyes. Not bragging but he seemed besotted which was absolutely flattering.
Stupid brain finally manages to remind me of a good policy, "you need to be my good friend first, we hardly know each other".
"Well", I begin, "it's just that" and I get interrupted by his pleading looks. My heart begins to melt and I am getting scared. As I am still sensing it happen, I say "we don't know each other so well, probably it may work, it may not too. I am not unsure, I can't decide. I think we should just be friends."
I really did not want to be rude and hurt his feelings, a simple "i don't like you" would have been fine, with a "so much now but you are such a nice guy and I really don't know what to say." Stupid again.
I guess what he heard were just "probably it may work". That was quiet obvious by that smile that spread across his face. Love fool.
So you see, my stupidity at play one more time. Now he has my number and plans in place and I smile sheepishly and wonder whether he considers me his girlfriend or just as a friend.
I know this will not last long and surely I will have to start working on a break up strategy. Oh yeah, I know the right plan, I'll just say that " ". Actually I will dump my phone in to the gutter or just the sim, move to a different city, then take up private tuition and even change my name.
Guess Idiotic Girl would be a great choice.
Hi, I am Stupid Girl. Yup, that's my name. Well not my birth name but I felt that this one suits me better given what I am prone to, Stupidity. Dad still calls me Princess, wait till he hears about the things I do. Still he is too soft and loving that he would turn a deaf ear to all that being said.
Back to where I am right now. At a restaurant, hiding behind a menu and trying to think of something, anything. Just then my stupid brain decides to go on a little memory tour and I fail to resist.
It all began a few weeks back, two to be exact. I had to take up a communications training as part of my college thing. The less said the better. I was actually being video-taped when I gave my speech, which was exciting and then they relayed it to the whole class, making me an example on how not to stand wide-footed when on a stage. Embarrassing. To the point, in the training, there was a guy, the same guy. I saw him when he came up for his speech, never seen him before. When he finished his speech and returned to his seat, my eyes followed him, which was just out of habit. Suddenly he looked up and our eyes met. Again EMBARRASSING. I did not will it nor wish it. I knew that now on it would be more of 'look here and look there and look if he is looking back'.
A typical story, we ended up being on the same group to work on a presentation and just by the mere chance of locking eyes, I became his focal point. Wherever I went, I could see him, despite having 28 other guys and girls around. Okay, it was a small crowd but whenever I looked he would be looking at me.
Finally on our presentation day, he found me alone and immediately asked me out for a COFFEE. Innocent request and I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to be rude and so I agreed to meet him Friday at 5.
Which brings us rather me right here and right now.
Stupid brain. Instead of focusing on how to answer, it goes on a trip. I quietly peer over the edge of the menu and watch him give his order to the waitress.I have to make up my mind. For the moment I just go with "I'll have the same". But that doesn't answer THE question.
The question in question is his question on whether I would be his girlfriend.
Where is the "LIKE"? I would have preferred "would you like to be my girlfriend" rather than "be my girlfriend" accompanied by pleading eyes. Not bragging but he seemed besotted which was absolutely flattering.
Stupid brain finally manages to remind me of a good policy, "you need to be my good friend first, we hardly know each other".
"Well", I begin, "it's just that" and I get interrupted by his pleading looks. My heart begins to melt and I am getting scared. As I am still sensing it happen, I say "we don't know each other so well, probably it may work, it may not too. I am not unsure, I can't decide. I think we should just be friends."
I really did not want to be rude and hurt his feelings, a simple "i don't like you" would have been fine, with a "so much now but you are such a nice guy and I really don't know what to say." Stupid again.
I guess what he heard were just "probably it may work". That was quiet obvious by that smile that spread across his face. Love fool.
So you see, my stupidity at play one more time. Now he has my number and plans in place and I smile sheepishly and wonder whether he considers me his girlfriend or just as a friend.
I know this will not last long and surely I will have to start working on a break up strategy. Oh yeah, I know the right plan, I'll just say that " ". Actually I will dump my phone in to the gutter or just the sim, move to a different city, then take up private tuition and even change my name.
Guess Idiotic Girl would be a great choice.
:) :) though a story it is so realistic.. left me with a very sober smile.. but wanting more... u should write more of short stories.. u seem to have a flair for it...
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouragement... will surely try and dish out something soon...
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