The Recipe I Promised!!

Yes finally it is here.

Warning: The following contains nothing related to food. Cooking enthusiasts may look for greener pastures. No people were harmed in the making of the following (expect Moi – La Chef)

Today we are going to make a simple Lemon Rice and a little Channa Dhal. Please take a pen and paper for notes, which you may later fold in to paper planes. Whatever being said below are really important stuff. Pay attention.

Pour Lemon Rice:

Lemons and Rice. Duh!!

Also some salt, green chilies, ginger etc etc. (please google it up from some real cooking blog).

So I will just give some useful tips.

1. We need good lemon juice from nice juicy lemons, not the blood from your fingers. Lemons are tricky little round running objects. Since this is not some Bloody offering to the Devil, forget the black magic rituals and concentrate on the lemon between your fingers.

2. We need some salt and if there is less of it, well the food tastes incomplete and if excess, then we need buckets of water to rinse and cleanse the sediments from our tongue. 

At some time I had proudly declared that the Salt Spoke to ME. Guess what? It LIED.

3. Green Chillies are needed for the right flavour. A real cook would tear the chillies with her bare hands and then use it to season her lemon rice. A real cook would then not proceed to rub her eyes with the same hand.

4. We need a small 3 inch piece of juicy Ginger cut in tiny pieces. Beware; just like the one above, it is also a Stinger.

Important Tip: Have an experienced chef around to bail you out of sticky situations.

Pour Channa Dhal:

They are stubborn a*******s and require a good soak before they oblige to cook, tough cookies.

The recipe below is to make Perfect Channa Dhal - Burnt Style

1. Put un-soaked channa in to a cooker - first important poor decision

2. Pour water until the dhal drowns - dead and floating

3. Pressure cook for as long as your cooker takes to cook rice - hope you are smart enough like me to light the stove

4. Check and find uncooked and hard channa - no soaking = no cooking.

5. Pressure cook again adding little water- note water required disproportionate to cooking time.

6. Tadaa!! - Burnt Channa Dhal!

Important Tip: Know your dhals, there are many out to get you.

Jokes and a cut finger and wasted proteins apart, remember that the most important ingredient to make anything awesome is a good dose of LOVE.

B@$#%*&T.

It just doesn't work. Your husband cannot eat love and survive and neither can you. Please have a good restaurant's number on Speed Dial. This is the only decent tip I can give you.

Some people love cooking but it only puts me in a bad mood