The year that was!

So the year is drawing to a close. It calls for a commemorative post. Only when December is born, does the reality of 12 months flying past hit home.

The New Year began with an alarm  and not with resolutions. In fact at the stroke of midnight, I was in deep sleep. Nothing eventful of the day per say but the birth of the New Year always gives a sense of hope for starting new things and probably a sense that a miracle is around the corner.

I had expected this year to be special with many things coming my way.

My Grandmother

What do you want to become? They ask you as a child. We mouthed things like Doctor, Lawyer, Teacher etc. I sure did. For Role models, we would mouth names like Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi and all other freedom fighters and great leaders and scientists that we have been taught.

As you grow older, everything changes. The role models now cease to be characters from our history books but rather people who have lived alongside us and influenced our thoughts, words and deeds.

It takes age and time to realise this and when you do, something like this comes about.

My Grandmother

Introspection!

Now let me talk about my merits

Oh my! Nothing much to say.

And looking at my list of de-merits

It just puts me to shame

What about my many achievements?

Sorry, none really worth the while

At least my talents

Oh Please! Just dabbling here and there

Everything Happens for a Reason!

When something is HAPPENING you undergo various emotions and notions on what is going on and what is to come. Till such event completely unfolds, you are only left with two choices viz., be anxious or be calm.

ANXIOUS:

It was an usual working day's start. I had just laid out my laptop and was wondering what I had to do today. As my attention turned to my yet to start computer, an error blinked at me. My initial blank reaction soon turned frantic as I kept trying hopelessly for some magic to work by a mere restart.

The laptop was Dead.

This Place Called - SHIVAJINAGAR

I have been visiting this place for almost 2 years now. My office is located here. Here, this place, where I get a glimpse to a City that was very new to me just a few years back. Today, I feel I know it a little more than what I had expected, in such a short time.

The Audi zipped past me one evening and some days later there was a Jaguar. BMWs are so common here. Latest to this list of exquisite beauties, a Porsche ( say POR-Sha).  Every evening I am treated to the buzz of traffic, smell of dung and garbage which is soon followed by strong musky perfumes.

Here you get to see men clad in White and come September everything turns Peachy-Pink. You hear the Maulvi every day and the Church Priest’s Sermons on special days. Not left far behind is the temple nearby, where in August the festivals are celebrated with some fire.

If I fancy some tea, I can get it, along with some delicious Mutton Biryani. But since I am a vegetarian, I can settle for some tender coconut or some Fruit Salad or spiced nuts or even some sweet corn.

I get to hear a lot of Urdu and also a generous dose of Tamil. There are lot of Malayalam speaking people here too. But the street where I tread daily, Urdu it is.

Supermarkets are normally set in multi-storey buildings and carry central Air Conditioning. Over here, the supermarket spreads across the many roads and shopping is done under the skies unmindful of whether it is daylight or dusk.

When it rains you have to be wary as the roads turn slushy. It is common in any market place and this place is no exception. However I got lucky cause I had gotten a Jinxed Umbrella. Ever since I bought it, there were no rains.

In short, my experience here has been an Eye Opener (and a nose closer). 

And I LOVE YOU 13B (the old faithful that takes me home every evening)

Black Mark!

The first thing I do when I am alone at home, is to SNEEZE as loud and free as possible. Yes it is true.

Why? Well the reason is that my in-laws are a bit superstitious about SNEEZES and scrunch up their face when they hear one. Given that and my Chronic Sneezing problem, I try to suppress it and make it as less loud as possible.

Finally when left alone, I take the chance of Letting Go with great gusto.

Small Pleasures of Life.

But really how and when and why did Sneezes become a bad omen? God Only Knows.

I used to be very superstitious. During my school years I had a routine and stuck to it. If I faltered, I feared that I would be quizzed in class, my incomplete work discovered or anything random which I failed to do exposed.

Nobody likes surprise tests and I surely didn't want to bring it on by just waking on the wrong side of bed.

Later on I discovered Murphy's Law and realised that all my routine was in VAIN.

I do wonder whether they are really as potent as people fear. I just have one real and recollectable experience with a Sneeze Jinx. A shopping expedition where I ended up returning with EMPTY BAGS!

Talking about famous / common superstitions, who can give the CAT a miss? A cat on the way means a quick U-Turn, whatever be the time, urgency or errand. Our neighbourhood was teeming with cats at some point. Many families must have been relieved to see them go away (DIE even).

Seriously. But I found the stray cats a menace rather than Walking-Meowing evil-omens. Oh! That howling Dog too. Wonder how people restrained from Stoning it to Death. Shit scared they are about such stuff.

I had a Sign-of-Bad-Luck. I nicknamed this unknown man on my street "Unlucky Iyengar". He was unlucky not cos of his beliefs but just unlucky as I had an inexplicable dislike for him and believed that seeing him ruined my work / day. True to that, I did have some lousy days.

Then one fine day I had a revelation and he ceased to affect my day.

I still call him that though and I continue to dislike him.

So what has all this got to do with a Black Mark? No it is not about Lucky Moles (Molosophy on another day). It is about this little aberration. It is not a mole, mind you, but black mark for putting my finger between a Rock and a Hard place.

The Black Mark

The OMEN factor? This one is not evil. Based on my past experience, I have realised that getting my hand stained foretold Good Fortune. Every single time my clean hands got stained, I walked out successful and happy from whatever I set out to do. No kidding.

That gave me great happiness when I saw this one forming after that crushing experience. True to it's nature, I had a wonderful time with Loved Ones and even managed to get tickets to buses and cinemas in the last minute. That too on a weekend. Beat That!

Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and that applied to this little sweet dark darling of a black mark. It is long gone now and I do miss it's company. The pride it gave me to display such an anomaly that I even clicked it's picture to record it for eternity. Sometimes I just wonder whether I should just drop that Rock on my finger again. What say? Shall I?

Oops! Someone Sneezed. Crushing by Rock on some other day.

The First Time

His thumb traced a line down her neck. The warmth from his palm on her neck spread through her. He was holding her close, she was holding him too. Her eyes were shut tight but lips parted in anticipation. They stood cheek to cheek, feeling their breath brush off their skin.

They had met a month ago at a common friend’s birthday party. The connection was instant. They had spent the whole evening chatting and stayed together till almost everyone had left. She did not want the evening to end and the feeling was mutual. Phone numbers were exchanged and the first messages flew across the very same night.

It had started light and soon turned rigorous. Not a beep missed to reply and when it didn’t beep a sense of loss. Their hands typed feverishly and yet they had so much to share and then one day, they started to call.

When they weren't messaging, they were lost in thoughts. They could only wonder what it was and did not know what it was destined for. They had jobs and lives that needed their attention and that ensured that they spent some time apart. But the moment a window opened, the messages would start.

She felt a pain one night, inside her heart. It was, she realised called LONGING. She missed him, wished him to be near, an arm around her shoulder, her head against his beating chest. He felt that pain too and wished to hold her near and never let her go far.

They planned to meet for coffee; it had been two weeks since they had first met. Unlike the first time, they hardly had any words to speak. They sat silently, together staring in to their cups, watching the hearts in the froth and wondering what the other was thinking. Though they sat silent, they sat content, just happy to be near each other. She gathered some courage and extended her little finger from where she held her cup. It gently grazed his hand and slowly pried out his little finger too. They sat there, talking of the weather, looking dreamily everywhere else rather than meeting eyes. They sat there with their fingers intertwined.

The other meetings were unlike that one, they had lots to talk, there were lots of smiles and lots more fingers intertwined.

They were returning from dinner tonight. They had driven together but wanted to walk together for a while. It was a lonely corner.  He loosely held her hand and kept wishing for a never ending night. It was sudden. She turned towards him quickly and hooked her arms under his. He was taken aback. Shaken and nervous, he hugged her back and they held tight.

As they drew apart, he held her pretty head in his hands. He traced a line down her throat and gulped for air. He felt her swallow in anticipation. They now stood cheek to cheek, lips parted and waiting for that moment.

Sweet Memories Part 1

Someone has been egging me to write about something close to the family. That lead me thinking and brought me to one thing that connected us all.

Our childhood home.

My first memory rolls back to the time a tiny,little kitten sat outside the kitchen while my mom and grandma coaxed me to have a glass of milk.

Surrounded by trees that offered fruits and shade, a garden around the house with colourful flowers, a two storey structure with a gate and a pathway leading to the main door, the house was huge. There was a swing in the backyard and a tub of a cement block, which I don't remember using and a WELL.

Life was laid back. I would be playing at home, playing at the neighbors'. Playing up till it's 6 o'clock until my mom called my name. I'd be really scared to be late and rush home as fast as I could. She has never hit me but still I feared her.

The older girls in the neighborhood had a good time dressing me up. I wasn't a doll but I just loved lipstick. Though I'd later struggle to keep my lips apart. Those lipsticks were very sticky and my parted lips made me drool which I had to suck in every few seconds which in turn provided entertainment to the whole family.

I remember once when a beggar had come for alms and I had followed my mother only to get a thorn up in my foot. My tender baby feet bled a lot. I still remember seeing a long red streak, or probably just my strong imagination.

I was very young compared to my cousins. At least 20 years younger. One cousin would take me on his bike to get me some GEMS. I'd be very scared when he'd ride fast. I would cling on like a lizard. Yup! That scared.

The thunderstorms were scary. I remember one night, my sister was just a baby. She was on my mother's lap, I was sitting close by, dad and grandma were there too. Yet the thunder startled and scared me. I would shut my ears to keep the fear away.  I still do not understand why I shuddered so. It was not about the surprise element, something more.

For the naughty kid who failed to sleep, my dad always had the perfect medicine  First he would start off with stories. I would always listen to ONE (really just one) before dozing off. Most nights it would mix up with the things he did at work, sleepy ramblings. Second, he would gently mention the GOBLINS that would come out if the kids are too noisy and awake at night. Eyes and ears will both be shut tight even before he finishes his narration. Our bedtime would coincide with the Parliament News at 9 and on Sundays with The World This Week.

I remember many small incidents, simple ones. Once my sister and I were dressed in identical PAVADAIs and playing down in the pathway. My dad wanted to click some pictures. Happily my sister came and hugged me from behind, circling my shoulders with her tiny hands. It was so sudden that I ended up accidentally swallowing an entire LEMON RAVALGON whose lemony taste I was relishing till that moment. Photo clicked!

Too many thoughts flash in front of my eyes. For a 5 year old, seems like I had a good memory. Or it is purely because the impact was such. A beautiful memory of a life so innocent.

Stupid Idiotic Girl..

I am a total mess. Sitting here, in a restaurant, looking in to a menu and unable to decide. Well not about what I want to eat, rather what do I tell this guy sitting at the table with me.

Hi, I am Stupid Girl. Yup, that's my name. Well not my birth name but I felt that this one suits me better given what I am prone to, Stupidity. Dad still calls me Princess, wait till he hears about the things I do. Still he is too soft and loving that he would turn a deaf ear to all that being said.

Back to where I am right now. At a restaurant, hiding behind a menu and trying to think of something, anything. Just then my stupid brain decides to go on a little memory tour and I fail to resist.

It all began a few weeks back, two to be exact. I had to take up a communications training as part of my college thing. The less said the better. I was actually being video-taped when I gave my speech, which was exciting and then they relayed it to the whole class, making me an example on how not to stand wide-footed when on a stage. Embarrassing. To the point, in the training, there was a guy, the same guy. I saw him when he came up for his speech, never seen him before. When he finished his speech and returned to his seat, my eyes followed him, which was just out of habit. Suddenly he looked up and our eyes met. Again EMBARRASSING. I did not will it nor wish it. I knew that now on it would be more of 'look here and look there and look if he is looking back'.

A typical story, we ended up being on the same group to work on a presentation and just by the mere chance of locking eyes, I became his focal point. Wherever I went, I could see him, despite having 28 other guys and girls around. Okay, it was a small crowd but whenever I looked he would be looking at me.

Finally on our presentation day, he found me alone and immediately asked me out for a COFFEE. Innocent request and I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to be rude and so I agreed to meet him Friday at 5.

Which brings us rather me right here and right now.

Stupid brain. Instead of focusing on how to answer, it goes on a trip. I quietly peer over the edge of the menu and watch him give his order to the waitress.I have to make up my mind. For the moment I just go with "I'll have the same". But that doesn't answer THE question.

The question in question is his question on whether I would be his girlfriend.

Where is the "LIKE"? I would have preferred "would you like to be my girlfriend" rather than "be my girlfriend" accompanied by pleading eyes. Not bragging but he seemed besotted which was absolutely flattering.

Stupid brain finally manages to remind me of a good policy, "you need to be my good friend first, we hardly know each other".

"Well", I begin, "it's just that" and I get interrupted by his pleading looks. My heart begins to melt and I am getting scared. As I am still sensing it happen, I say "we don't know each other so well, probably it may work, it may not too. I am not unsure, I can't decide. I think we should just be friends."

 I really did not want to be rude and hurt his feelings, a simple "i don't like you" would have been fine, with a "so much now but you are such a nice guy and I really don't know what to say." Stupid again.

I guess what he heard were just "probably it may work". That was quiet obvious by that smile that spread across his face. Love fool.

So you see, my stupidity at play one more time. Now he has my number and plans in place and I smile sheepishly and wonder whether he considers me his girlfriend or just as a friend.

I know this will not last long and surely I will have to start working on a break up strategy. Oh yeah, I know the right plan, I'll just say that "     ". Actually I will dump my phone in to the gutter or just the sim, move to a different city, then take up private tuition and even change my name.

Guess Idiotic Girl would be a great choice.

The Recipe I Promised!!

Yes finally it is here.

Warning: The following contains nothing related to food. Cooking enthusiasts may look for greener pastures. No people were harmed in the making of the following (expect Moi – La Chef)

Today we are going to make a simple Lemon Rice and a little Channa Dhal. Please take a pen and paper for notes, which you may later fold in to paper planes. Whatever being said below are really important stuff. Pay attention.

Pour Lemon Rice:

Lemons and Rice. Duh!!

Also some salt, green chilies, ginger etc etc. (please google it up from some real cooking blog).

So I will just give some useful tips.

1. We need good lemon juice from nice juicy lemons, not the blood from your fingers. Lemons are tricky little round running objects. Since this is not some Bloody offering to the Devil, forget the black magic rituals and concentrate on the lemon between your fingers.

2. We need some salt and if there is less of it, well the food tastes incomplete and if excess, then we need buckets of water to rinse and cleanse the sediments from our tongue. 

At some time I had proudly declared that the Salt Spoke to ME. Guess what? It LIED.

3. Green Chillies are needed for the right flavour. A real cook would tear the chillies with her bare hands and then use it to season her lemon rice. A real cook would then not proceed to rub her eyes with the same hand.

4. We need a small 3 inch piece of juicy Ginger cut in tiny pieces. Beware; just like the one above, it is also a Stinger.

Important Tip: Have an experienced chef around to bail you out of sticky situations.

Pour Channa Dhal:

They are stubborn a*******s and require a good soak before they oblige to cook, tough cookies.

The recipe below is to make Perfect Channa Dhal - Burnt Style

1. Put un-soaked channa in to a cooker - first important poor decision

2. Pour water until the dhal drowns - dead and floating

3. Pressure cook for as long as your cooker takes to cook rice - hope you are smart enough like me to light the stove

4. Check and find uncooked and hard channa - no soaking = no cooking.

5. Pressure cook again adding little water- note water required disproportionate to cooking time.

6. Tadaa!! - Burnt Channa Dhal!

Important Tip: Know your dhals, there are many out to get you.

Jokes and a cut finger and wasted proteins apart, remember that the most important ingredient to make anything awesome is a good dose of LOVE.

B@$#%*&T.

It just doesn't work. Your husband cannot eat love and survive and neither can you. Please have a good restaurant's number on Speed Dial. This is the only decent tip I can give you.

Some people love cooking but it only puts me in a bad mood

A Delayed Women's Day Message...

Don't Be Born Girls!!! 

Ya it sounds a bit extreme, but that's how things are.

Why do women get targeted?

1. The gold we wear

2. The makeup we wear

3. The clothes we wear (won't save us any better even if we don't bother to wear)

4. The colour of our skin (fair to be conquered and dark to be conquered)

5. The innocence we have (so easy to exploit and hush too)

6. The courage we have (remember any woman who hasn't been abused in any simple manner?)

Who will protect us?

1. Our family (hmmm, they are not physically or financially that powerful to protect us forever)

2. Husbands (leaving the ones who thrash or two-time their wives, the remaining are not Dhara Singh to wrestle the enemy)

3. Brothers (what about half the population that do not have them?)

4. Police (good joke)

What do we do?

Sometimes there is no straight answer. We need to grow extra pairs of hands and heads like Maa Kali and watch out for danger. Then with that many hands and brains working for you, it would be easy to get over any situation. One slash here and one kick there. Job Done.

Oh yeah! Respecting women starts at home. So we can be the stronger woman and teach our Sons and Brothers. A gift for the coming generations.

And till then, we can carry a pepper spray, pocket knife and go for that karate / kung fu or just a REALLY REALLY HEAVY HANDBAG (works wonders, I have tried it.)

Everyday!!

I wake up in the morning, it is 6 o'clock

I brush; I bath, put up the coffee pot

 “Wake up dear, coffee is here”

I smile, I serve and move on

The kitchen is on the golden run

The cooker steams, water boils

I run hither, vegetables to dice.

A dash of spice and a pinch of salt

A spoonful to taste, “aah, Well done!”

Square boxes lined up

Lunches to pack

“Where did he put his bag?”

“My coffee is cold, Oh Smack!!”

The clock says nine, my Cinderella time.

A quick change,

Make up’s done

“Just a sec, I’ll join you Hon!”

Its 7:30 now, just back from work

Dinner time, rats in my gut.

More steam, more salt

Food to the table is brought.

No waiting I pray,

Hope he is early today.

It was, it wasn’t, just the usual

The day is done and so are the dishes.

I head back to my bed,

Groggy eyes, sleepy tread

I lie down and soon I am as good as dead.

And I wake up in the morning, it is 6 o'clock.

Bewitched...

A wriggle of my nose and things go up in the air
A laser beam shoots, when I give a hard stare.
A snap of my fingers, lights up a flame
A click of my boots to fly like a plane

All these I wish, Powers that I had
All these and I would make you go mad.

I would make you lose your shorts
Probably light up your shirt.
Pull down your pants
or dress you in vivid colours.

I may shower you with flowers
Probably with slimy toads.
Drench you in inky rain
or just cause you some pain


Alas, I should say, the wishes remain
Only a butt-load of Attitude and not Restrain

Shed them...

Shed them slowly my love,
shed them slowly.
First the doubt in your heart,
Second that little fear.

Shed them slowly 
and come in to my arms.

Shed them slowly my love,
That ignorance you fake,
That old heart break.

Shed them slowly
and hold me tight

Shed them slowly my love.
That mask that you wear,
The walls around your heart

Shed them slowly
And embrace my love!!!

A Special Evening

5:00 pm

The lights were turned low, curtains drawn and the scent of paneer roses filled the air. She walked slowly to the centre of the room, gingerly carrying a crystal bowl filled with water. She put it down gently on the glass coffee table and mocked herself for not thinking of bringing it empty and then filling it. She had been walking in slow motion for a full 5 minutes. She disappeared in to the dining and re-appeared with a bottle in one hand and a small plastic cover in the other. She bent close and let two drops from the bottle touch the water. It was rose water. Then she dug in to the plastic bag and after much ruffling pulled out her hand clutching a fistful of rose petals. Gently she strew them on the now calm water. A minute later she had lit a white cup candle and let it float amidst the roses and watched the crystal bowl glow.

She had it all planned. Why had it to be the guys always trying to impress the girls with a well planned romantic date. Girls can also do that. That is what she planned. A romantic evening to be with her special one. Breaking out of her reverie she quickly dashed in to her bedroom. She had plenty of time but wanted to get dressed slowly.

The saree was very pretty, she had liked it at first sight and had kept it locked away for some special occasion. Its calling had come. She draped it gently, lost in her thoughts, all the while smiling and blushing, thinking about her guy. Around came the pallu and went over her left shoulder and she silently squealed in joy. It looked gorgeous. She looked gorgeous. She decided to let her hair loose for a change and went for the minimal make-up. It was a special day and she wanted her special shimmering lipstick. With the final touch of the bindi to her forehead, she looked in to the mirror and could only smile shyly. She looked perfect.

Shifting her gaze to the bottom draw of her dressing table she had just pulled open, she smiled yet again. She dug in and retrieved two small boxes. It was going to be special alright.

6:00 pm

The message had been simple. "Come home early".

His other messages asking "why" and "what" were left unanswered. He had no clue what was up but didn't want to disappoint her. He was on time and lost in thought as he was about to ring the bell. The door opened and he stood there caught in mid action with his hand outstretched and eyes wide, staring at this beautiful apparition smiling at him from the doorstep. He recovered quickly and beamed as he watched her smile and draw him inside.

The living room looked different. The lights low, the decorated coffee table, a mild-sweet fragrance and he counted 5 candles placed in different convenient places. Impressed. And then again his eyes were back to her. 

She had gone in to their kitchen and was now returning with two tall glasses of Sherbet. A glass each in hand they settled on the sofa and sat opposite each other. He wanted to appraise her and watched her doing the same. Whatever she had planned, it was working perfectly. The ruby red drink cooled his throat but warmed up his insides. His mind now relaxed and mood romantic.

"What is it?", he asked. "Ssssh, I will tell you later.", she said. "Oh! c'mon tell no!", he pleaded. "Have some patience", she said and stood smiling and slowly moved towards him. He never liked lipstick and she knew that, but this time he did not want to stop her. As her arms went around his neck, he could smell her. She had no perfume on, yet smelled divine. They sat there, snuggling in each others' arms.

A few minutes later, she stood up. "I have something for you". Saying that she walked off in to the bedroom. The moment had finally come, the secret of the evening was to be revealed. He sat back in the sofa and recalled how and when she had planned all this. There had been no signs, she had been her usual groggy self that morning, dressed in her nightie and somberly cooking and packing his lunch. Everything as usual except for that message around noon asking him to be home early.

She had a small fruit basket in her hand. Clueless yet again, he started to rise but she motioned for him to sit. His eyes followed her as she slowly came around to sit next to him. Silently she handed him the basket. She was now doing her eye-talk.

He scanned it, searched for what was special in a fruit basket and that is when he found it. The two small boxes.

With no patience to play guessing games, he opened the first one to his reach. Inside was a small porcelain doll. It was a little baby doll, sleeping in its blue knickers, dreamily smiling and its chubby cheeks blushed pink. The second had another little doll, this had a pink skirt and flower on its headband and just like the other,pink cheeks and a dreamy smile.

Perplexed he looked up at her. All she offered was a smile. But it was different, she was beaming. He too knew the eye-talk by now and tried to ask "what is it?" and he read her eyes to interpret "What do think it is".

He blinked and blinked, pleading for her to say what it was. Finally she pinched his cheeks and whispered "Daddy".

The evening was special indeed.

Traffic Signal...

It was a lazy morning with no real task to accomplish. So after a quick shower, dress up and dabbing of some cream-powder-perfume and gulps of a so called breakfast, I was ready.

Faced with the option of a Rs.100 auto ride and a Rs.14 bus ride and given the time available on hand, I decided to do the 700 m dash to the nearest bus stand. There it was, ready and roaring, the bus to my destination, well at least it would be taking much closer to my destination. Window seat and all, I was set. About 45 minutes later, I was on board an auto heading to The Office.

The Auto. It always amuses about how much of my surroundings I am able to take in while in an Auto as compared to the times when I am in a Car. Probably it is cause of the need to stay alert when being driven around by a stranger or the fact that there are no doors and raised glass windows to cocoon you in to a very personal space. In an auto, you are bound to have lots of things coming in and going out.

As the three wheeler kept rumbling and rolling down the road, it came to a stop at a signal. Slowly other vehicles too followed suit. A couple of bikes rolled up in to the front line. Typical.

Typical. It is typical for the auto guys to make abrupt turns and screeching halts. Typical for bikers to criss-cross other vehicles and get in to the tiniest gaps available. It is typical for the car fellas to block the way and take tedious U-turns and park haphazardly. And all the more typical for all of them to blame each of the others for the chaos.

At the signal now, as the vehicles roll to a stop, I take the time to observe my surroundings. Two guys in their courier company's Red - tees, looking anxiously at the signal. A matching red bag slung across their shoulders, unclear whether full or empty. A techie ahead of my auto, with a backpack that says "SAP" with a tiny water bottle tucked to the side, waiting for the signal. On a similar wait I also find two middle aged men, bike-pooling and wearing identical stripped shirts. Then there is a guy sandwiched between two big black bags and one of them read "SONY". Not difficult to guess that it was a Video Camera and his tripod accompanying him.

Just before the signal could turn green, I noticed one other biker with a bag hanging from the side. It was odd. It was a bag that I have seen the milk man carry around in the mornings. It felt out of place with a guy dressed in full formals complete with shoes and socks to match. Still trying to figure that out, I watched as the vehicles now came to life again, well some never really went to sleep.

The cameraman, veered to the lane on the right and vanished from eye-sight. The SAP guy went straight and the colour coded bike poolers rode along. The courier guys, I didn't have extra pair of eyes to follow, never realised where they had gone.

The chaos of further more workind day morning traffic continued and slowly I turned my head down towards the book that I had been reading,  wanting to finish a few more pages before I had to get off. After a stop at two other signals and then a final left turn, finally as my auto ground to a halt, I paid my fare and hopped off, all the while listening to "CHANDRALEKA" on high volume and praying for a place where I could just DANCE.

PS. Did I mention that sudden "SLOCH" sound I heard? Well it was birdie-poo landing splat on the road. Lucky fellows, it missed its mark.

Kannadadhalli maathadadhuke gothu!!

On my way home yesterday, I hailed an auto. The driver immediately responded in HINDI.

Koi baat nahin. I can understand Hindi  But I wondered how he assumed I could. But thats not the point here. Driving down further, I had to give directions. That's when I realised that I was speaking in Kannada to him.

As I struggled to chose between Hindi and Kannada, I realised that this was not the first time for me to get language-mix-mash. It happened once before too. I had to respond to someone speaking in Malayalam. And I blurted out in Kannada. What happened to good old mother-tongue of mine Tamil?

They say that languages come to you easily when you are a kid as your brain is young and fast in learning. Despite science working against me, I did manage to pick a new language in the last 3 years. Well seems that I broke down the CODE of this language.

Starters - Baeku (want), Saaku (enough), Baeda (don't want), Bannee (welcome), OOTAA (food), Thindee (tiffin), Annaa (rice), Saaru / Thilee Saaru (Sambar / Rasam), Bissi (Hot), tannagay (chill), illa (no), oudhu (yes), idhey (is there), aachey (outside), ollagay (inside), maelgadey (on top). Now you can proceed.

Pa to Ha Conversion Theory - Applicable in many places. When in tamil you say Pasu (Cow) in kannada it becomes Hasu. Likewise Paalu (milk) becomes Haalu and Pallu (teeth) becomes Hallu.

But then Palli (lizard) does not become Halli (Village). Mind That. It is better to consult a trusted partner before testing this.

The "u/vu" factor - Lets see - Avaru(him/her),avalu (she), Ivaru(he), neevu(you), naanu(me), naavu(we), namdhu(ours), nimdhu(yours). Point established

Plural-gaLu - Avar-galu, ivar-galu, buss-u-galu, hennu-galu (fruits), tharkari-galu (veggies), car-galu, road-galu etc etc-galu

Bruce Lee - I mean lee for respect, rather some ee for respect. Say Thago vs Thagolee (take) , Ba vs Bannee (come), Kuthko vs kuthkolee (sit), Maadu vs Maadee (instruct to do), Haaku vs Haakukolee (wear).

Thae Thae I will - Jharathae (it will slip/ be slippery), hogathae (it will go)

and with a thaithey  as a suffix you get Present continous gadigalu hoga-thaithey 

Furture continous - tha-iruthey neeru hoga-thairuthey (water will keep going)

Past continuous - tha-iththu 

Strangely the more I learn, the more i discover its similarities with tamil. The grammar and language structure is identical.

Other than the joy of conquering a new language it also gives me an edge. Really like the response I get when I speak to someone in their language. I don't forget to add that I do not know it too well, so as to cover up for the mistakes I make. That makes them even more gracious and accepting of you.

WARNING: USE WITH CARE. PLEASE PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A KANNADIGA FRIEND AND CALL HIM KANAU.

Hope it was useful. Thank you. Bartheenee (See you soon).