Stupid Idiotic Girl..

I am a total mess. Sitting here, in a restaurant, looking in to a menu and unable to decide. Well not about what I want to eat, rather what do I tell this guy sitting at the table with me.

Hi, I am Stupid Girl. Yup, that's my name. Well not my birth name but I felt that this one suits me better given what I am prone to, Stupidity. Dad still calls me Princess, wait till he hears about the things I do. Still he is too soft and loving that he would turn a deaf ear to all that being said.

Back to where I am right now. At a restaurant, hiding behind a menu and trying to think of something, anything. Just then my stupid brain decides to go on a little memory tour and I fail to resist.

It all began a few weeks back, two to be exact. I had to take up a communications training as part of my college thing. The less said the better. I was actually being video-taped when I gave my speech, which was exciting and then they relayed it to the whole class, making me an example on how not to stand wide-footed when on a stage. Embarrassing. To the point, in the training, there was a guy, the same guy. I saw him when he came up for his speech, never seen him before. When he finished his speech and returned to his seat, my eyes followed him, which was just out of habit. Suddenly he looked up and our eyes met. Again EMBARRASSING. I did not will it nor wish it. I knew that now on it would be more of 'look here and look there and look if he is looking back'.

A typical story, we ended up being on the same group to work on a presentation and just by the mere chance of locking eyes, I became his focal point. Wherever I went, I could see him, despite having 28 other guys and girls around. Okay, it was a small crowd but whenever I looked he would be looking at me.

Finally on our presentation day, he found me alone and immediately asked me out for a COFFEE. Innocent request and I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to be rude and so I agreed to meet him Friday at 5.

Which brings us rather me right here and right now.

Stupid brain. Instead of focusing on how to answer, it goes on a trip. I quietly peer over the edge of the menu and watch him give his order to the waitress.I have to make up my mind. For the moment I just go with "I'll have the same". But that doesn't answer THE question.

The question in question is his question on whether I would be his girlfriend.

Where is the "LIKE"? I would have preferred "would you like to be my girlfriend" rather than "be my girlfriend" accompanied by pleading eyes. Not bragging but he seemed besotted which was absolutely flattering.

Stupid brain finally manages to remind me of a good policy, "you need to be my good friend first, we hardly know each other".

"Well", I begin, "it's just that" and I get interrupted by his pleading looks. My heart begins to melt and I am getting scared. As I am still sensing it happen, I say "we don't know each other so well, probably it may work, it may not too. I am not unsure, I can't decide. I think we should just be friends."

 I really did not want to be rude and hurt his feelings, a simple "i don't like you" would have been fine, with a "so much now but you are such a nice guy and I really don't know what to say." Stupid again.

I guess what he heard were just "probably it may work". That was quiet obvious by that smile that spread across his face. Love fool.

So you see, my stupidity at play one more time. Now he has my number and plans in place and I smile sheepishly and wonder whether he considers me his girlfriend or just as a friend.

I know this will not last long and surely I will have to start working on a break up strategy. Oh yeah, I know the right plan, I'll just say that "     ". Actually I will dump my phone in to the gutter or just the sim, move to a different city, then take up private tuition and even change my name.

Guess Idiotic Girl would be a great choice.

The Recipe I Promised!!

Yes finally it is here.

Warning: The following contains nothing related to food. Cooking enthusiasts may look for greener pastures. No people were harmed in the making of the following (expect Moi – La Chef)

Today we are going to make a simple Lemon Rice and a little Channa Dhal. Please take a pen and paper for notes, which you may later fold in to paper planes. Whatever being said below are really important stuff. Pay attention.

Pour Lemon Rice:

Lemons and Rice. Duh!!

Also some salt, green chilies, ginger etc etc. (please google it up from some real cooking blog).

So I will just give some useful tips.

1. We need good lemon juice from nice juicy lemons, not the blood from your fingers. Lemons are tricky little round running objects. Since this is not some Bloody offering to the Devil, forget the black magic rituals and concentrate on the lemon between your fingers.

2. We need some salt and if there is less of it, well the food tastes incomplete and if excess, then we need buckets of water to rinse and cleanse the sediments from our tongue. 

At some time I had proudly declared that the Salt Spoke to ME. Guess what? It LIED.

3. Green Chillies are needed for the right flavour. A real cook would tear the chillies with her bare hands and then use it to season her lemon rice. A real cook would then not proceed to rub her eyes with the same hand.

4. We need a small 3 inch piece of juicy Ginger cut in tiny pieces. Beware; just like the one above, it is also a Stinger.

Important Tip: Have an experienced chef around to bail you out of sticky situations.

Pour Channa Dhal:

They are stubborn a*******s and require a good soak before they oblige to cook, tough cookies.

The recipe below is to make Perfect Channa Dhal - Burnt Style

1. Put un-soaked channa in to a cooker - first important poor decision

2. Pour water until the dhal drowns - dead and floating

3. Pressure cook for as long as your cooker takes to cook rice - hope you are smart enough like me to light the stove

4. Check and find uncooked and hard channa - no soaking = no cooking.

5. Pressure cook again adding little water- note water required disproportionate to cooking time.

6. Tadaa!! - Burnt Channa Dhal!

Important Tip: Know your dhals, there are many out to get you.

Jokes and a cut finger and wasted proteins apart, remember that the most important ingredient to make anything awesome is a good dose of LOVE.

B@$#%*&T.

It just doesn't work. Your husband cannot eat love and survive and neither can you. Please have a good restaurant's number on Speed Dial. This is the only decent tip I can give you.

Some people love cooking but it only puts me in a bad mood

A Delayed Women's Day Message...

Don't Be Born Girls!!! 

Ya it sounds a bit extreme, but that's how things are.

Why do women get targeted?

1. The gold we wear

2. The makeup we wear

3. The clothes we wear (won't save us any better even if we don't bother to wear)

4. The colour of our skin (fair to be conquered and dark to be conquered)

5. The innocence we have (so easy to exploit and hush too)

6. The courage we have (remember any woman who hasn't been abused in any simple manner?)

Who will protect us?

1. Our family (hmmm, they are not physically or financially that powerful to protect us forever)

2. Husbands (leaving the ones who thrash or two-time their wives, the remaining are not Dhara Singh to wrestle the enemy)

3. Brothers (what about half the population that do not have them?)

4. Police (good joke)

What do we do?

Sometimes there is no straight answer. We need to grow extra pairs of hands and heads like Maa Kali and watch out for danger. Then with that many hands and brains working for you, it would be easy to get over any situation. One slash here and one kick there. Job Done.

Oh yeah! Respecting women starts at home. So we can be the stronger woman and teach our Sons and Brothers. A gift for the coming generations.

And till then, we can carry a pepper spray, pocket knife and go for that karate / kung fu or just a REALLY REALLY HEAVY HANDBAG (works wonders, I have tried it.)

Everyday!!

I wake up in the morning, it is 6 o'clock

I brush; I bath, put up the coffee pot

 “Wake up dear, coffee is here”

I smile, I serve and move on

The kitchen is on the golden run

The cooker steams, water boils

I run hither, vegetables to dice.

A dash of spice and a pinch of salt

A spoonful to taste, “aah, Well done!”

Square boxes lined up

Lunches to pack

“Where did he put his bag?”

“My coffee is cold, Oh Smack!!”

The clock says nine, my Cinderella time.

A quick change,

Make up’s done

“Just a sec, I’ll join you Hon!”

Its 7:30 now, just back from work

Dinner time, rats in my gut.

More steam, more salt

Food to the table is brought.

No waiting I pray,

Hope he is early today.

It was, it wasn’t, just the usual

The day is done and so are the dishes.

I head back to my bed,

Groggy eyes, sleepy tread

I lie down and soon I am as good as dead.

And I wake up in the morning, it is 6 o'clock.

Bewitched...

A wriggle of my nose and things go up in the air
A laser beam shoots, when I give a hard stare.
A snap of my fingers, lights up a flame
A click of my boots to fly like a plane

All these I wish, Powers that I had
All these and I would make you go mad.

I would make you lose your shorts
Probably light up your shirt.
Pull down your pants
or dress you in vivid colours.

I may shower you with flowers
Probably with slimy toads.
Drench you in inky rain
or just cause you some pain


Alas, I should say, the wishes remain
Only a butt-load of Attitude and not Restrain

Shed them...

Shed them slowly my love,
shed them slowly.
First the doubt in your heart,
Second that little fear.

Shed them slowly 
and come in to my arms.

Shed them slowly my love,
That ignorance you fake,
That old heart break.

Shed them slowly
and hold me tight

Shed them slowly my love.
That mask that you wear,
The walls around your heart

Shed them slowly
And embrace my love!!!

A Special Evening

5:00 pm

The lights were turned low, curtains drawn and the scent of paneer roses filled the air. She walked slowly to the centre of the room, gingerly carrying a crystal bowl filled with water. She put it down gently on the glass coffee table and mocked herself for not thinking of bringing it empty and then filling it. She had been walking in slow motion for a full 5 minutes. She disappeared in to the dining and re-appeared with a bottle in one hand and a small plastic cover in the other. She bent close and let two drops from the bottle touch the water. It was rose water. Then she dug in to the plastic bag and after much ruffling pulled out her hand clutching a fistful of rose petals. Gently she strew them on the now calm water. A minute later she had lit a white cup candle and let it float amidst the roses and watched the crystal bowl glow.

She had it all planned. Why had it to be the guys always trying to impress the girls with a well planned romantic date. Girls can also do that. That is what she planned. A romantic evening to be with her special one. Breaking out of her reverie she quickly dashed in to her bedroom. She had plenty of time but wanted to get dressed slowly.

The saree was very pretty, she had liked it at first sight and had kept it locked away for some special occasion. Its calling had come. She draped it gently, lost in her thoughts, all the while smiling and blushing, thinking about her guy. Around came the pallu and went over her left shoulder and she silently squealed in joy. It looked gorgeous. She looked gorgeous. She decided to let her hair loose for a change and went for the minimal make-up. It was a special day and she wanted her special shimmering lipstick. With the final touch of the bindi to her forehead, she looked in to the mirror and could only smile shyly. She looked perfect.

Shifting her gaze to the bottom draw of her dressing table she had just pulled open, she smiled yet again. She dug in and retrieved two small boxes. It was going to be special alright.

6:00 pm

The message had been simple. "Come home early".

His other messages asking "why" and "what" were left unanswered. He had no clue what was up but didn't want to disappoint her. He was on time and lost in thought as he was about to ring the bell. The door opened and he stood there caught in mid action with his hand outstretched and eyes wide, staring at this beautiful apparition smiling at him from the doorstep. He recovered quickly and beamed as he watched her smile and draw him inside.

The living room looked different. The lights low, the decorated coffee table, a mild-sweet fragrance and he counted 5 candles placed in different convenient places. Impressed. And then again his eyes were back to her. 

She had gone in to their kitchen and was now returning with two tall glasses of Sherbet. A glass each in hand they settled on the sofa and sat opposite each other. He wanted to appraise her and watched her doing the same. Whatever she had planned, it was working perfectly. The ruby red drink cooled his throat but warmed up his insides. His mind now relaxed and mood romantic.

"What is it?", he asked. "Ssssh, I will tell you later.", she said. "Oh! c'mon tell no!", he pleaded. "Have some patience", she said and stood smiling and slowly moved towards him. He never liked lipstick and she knew that, but this time he did not want to stop her. As her arms went around his neck, he could smell her. She had no perfume on, yet smelled divine. They sat there, snuggling in each others' arms.

A few minutes later, she stood up. "I have something for you". Saying that she walked off in to the bedroom. The moment had finally come, the secret of the evening was to be revealed. He sat back in the sofa and recalled how and when she had planned all this. There had been no signs, she had been her usual groggy self that morning, dressed in her nightie and somberly cooking and packing his lunch. Everything as usual except for that message around noon asking him to be home early.

She had a small fruit basket in her hand. Clueless yet again, he started to rise but she motioned for him to sit. His eyes followed her as she slowly came around to sit next to him. Silently she handed him the basket. She was now doing her eye-talk.

He scanned it, searched for what was special in a fruit basket and that is when he found it. The two small boxes.

With no patience to play guessing games, he opened the first one to his reach. Inside was a small porcelain doll. It was a little baby doll, sleeping in its blue knickers, dreamily smiling and its chubby cheeks blushed pink. The second had another little doll, this had a pink skirt and flower on its headband and just like the other,pink cheeks and a dreamy smile.

Perplexed he looked up at her. All she offered was a smile. But it was different, she was beaming. He too knew the eye-talk by now and tried to ask "what is it?" and he read her eyes to interpret "What do think it is".

He blinked and blinked, pleading for her to say what it was. Finally she pinched his cheeks and whispered "Daddy".

The evening was special indeed.

Traffic Signal...

It was a lazy morning with no real task to accomplish. So after a quick shower, dress up and dabbing of some cream-powder-perfume and gulps of a so called breakfast, I was ready.

Faced with the option of a Rs.100 auto ride and a Rs.14 bus ride and given the time available on hand, I decided to do the 700 m dash to the nearest bus stand. There it was, ready and roaring, the bus to my destination, well at least it would be taking much closer to my destination. Window seat and all, I was set. About 45 minutes later, I was on board an auto heading to The Office.

The Auto. It always amuses about how much of my surroundings I am able to take in while in an Auto as compared to the times when I am in a Car. Probably it is cause of the need to stay alert when being driven around by a stranger or the fact that there are no doors and raised glass windows to cocoon you in to a very personal space. In an auto, you are bound to have lots of things coming in and going out.

As the three wheeler kept rumbling and rolling down the road, it came to a stop at a signal. Slowly other vehicles too followed suit. A couple of bikes rolled up in to the front line. Typical.

Typical. It is typical for the auto guys to make abrupt turns and screeching halts. Typical for bikers to criss-cross other vehicles and get in to the tiniest gaps available. It is typical for the car fellas to block the way and take tedious U-turns and park haphazardly. And all the more typical for all of them to blame each of the others for the chaos.

At the signal now, as the vehicles roll to a stop, I take the time to observe my surroundings. Two guys in their courier company's Red - tees, looking anxiously at the signal. A matching red bag slung across their shoulders, unclear whether full or empty. A techie ahead of my auto, with a backpack that says "SAP" with a tiny water bottle tucked to the side, waiting for the signal. On a similar wait I also find two middle aged men, bike-pooling and wearing identical stripped shirts. Then there is a guy sandwiched between two big black bags and one of them read "SONY". Not difficult to guess that it was a Video Camera and his tripod accompanying him.

Just before the signal could turn green, I noticed one other biker with a bag hanging from the side. It was odd. It was a bag that I have seen the milk man carry around in the mornings. It felt out of place with a guy dressed in full formals complete with shoes and socks to match. Still trying to figure that out, I watched as the vehicles now came to life again, well some never really went to sleep.

The cameraman, veered to the lane on the right and vanished from eye-sight. The SAP guy went straight and the colour coded bike poolers rode along. The courier guys, I didn't have extra pair of eyes to follow, never realised where they had gone.

The chaos of further more workind day morning traffic continued and slowly I turned my head down towards the book that I had been reading,  wanting to finish a few more pages before I had to get off. After a stop at two other signals and then a final left turn, finally as my auto ground to a halt, I paid my fare and hopped off, all the while listening to "CHANDRALEKA" on high volume and praying for a place where I could just DANCE.

PS. Did I mention that sudden "SLOCH" sound I heard? Well it was birdie-poo landing splat on the road. Lucky fellows, it missed its mark.

Kannadadhalli maathadadhuke gothu!!

On my way home yesterday, I hailed an auto. The driver immediately responded in HINDI.

Koi baat nahin. I can understand Hindi  But I wondered how he assumed I could. But thats not the point here. Driving down further, I had to give directions. That's when I realised that I was speaking in Kannada to him.

As I struggled to chose between Hindi and Kannada, I realised that this was not the first time for me to get language-mix-mash. It happened once before too. I had to respond to someone speaking in Malayalam. And I blurted out in Kannada. What happened to good old mother-tongue of mine Tamil?

They say that languages come to you easily when you are a kid as your brain is young and fast in learning. Despite science working against me, I did manage to pick a new language in the last 3 years. Well seems that I broke down the CODE of this language.

Starters - Baeku (want), Saaku (enough), Baeda (don't want), Bannee (welcome), OOTAA (food), Thindee (tiffin), Annaa (rice), Saaru / Thilee Saaru (Sambar / Rasam), Bissi (Hot), tannagay (chill), illa (no), oudhu (yes), idhey (is there), aachey (outside), ollagay (inside), maelgadey (on top). Now you can proceed.

Pa to Ha Conversion Theory - Applicable in many places. When in tamil you say Pasu (Cow) in kannada it becomes Hasu. Likewise Paalu (milk) becomes Haalu and Pallu (teeth) becomes Hallu.

But then Palli (lizard) does not become Halli (Village). Mind That. It is better to consult a trusted partner before testing this.

The "u/vu" factor - Lets see - Avaru(him/her),avalu (she), Ivaru(he), neevu(you), naanu(me), naavu(we), namdhu(ours), nimdhu(yours). Point established

Plural-gaLu - Avar-galu, ivar-galu, buss-u-galu, hennu-galu (fruits), tharkari-galu (veggies), car-galu, road-galu etc etc-galu

Bruce Lee - I mean lee for respect, rather some ee for respect. Say Thago vs Thagolee (take) , Ba vs Bannee (come), Kuthko vs kuthkolee (sit), Maadu vs Maadee (instruct to do), Haaku vs Haakukolee (wear).

Thae Thae I will - Jharathae (it will slip/ be slippery), hogathae (it will go)

and with a thaithey  as a suffix you get Present continous gadigalu hoga-thaithey 

Furture continous - tha-iruthey neeru hoga-thairuthey (water will keep going)

Past continuous - tha-iththu 

Strangely the more I learn, the more i discover its similarities with tamil. The grammar and language structure is identical.

Other than the joy of conquering a new language it also gives me an edge. Really like the response I get when I speak to someone in their language. I don't forget to add that I do not know it too well, so as to cover up for the mistakes I make. That makes them even more gracious and accepting of you.

WARNING: USE WITH CARE. PLEASE PRACTICE IN FRONT OF A KANNADIGA FRIEND AND CALL HIM KANAU.

Hope it was useful. Thank you. Bartheenee (See you soon).

Birthday 2012

Every year I always get excited when the calendar turns to September. That is when my countdown begins. Some 45 days from then my birthday is to arrive. I also check my birthday as per the Tamil Calendar. TWO birthdays to celebrate!!!

I have no idea how and why, but I have always been very very excited about MY birthday. That said, this year was no different. I had already GIFTED MYSELF two new dresses and waited eagerly for the day.


And then I got DENGUE :(


The day before:

I lay in bed, resting. The temperature was mostly normal but I still hated FOOD and I was feeling cold. I felt a bit tired and remained lying until my back hurt. And then did some sitting until my bums hurt. And some lying again. A vicious circle. A very gloomy day.

On my Birthday:

I woke up that morning. The temperature was finally normal. I had a blood test report to collect and was nervous. My platelets had been low and so were my WBCs. I worried what would happen and whether I would be hospitalised. I wondered who would take care of me and whether they would fight over it. Too many things. And lastly whether I would get an auto to and fro.

With so many burdening thoughts in my head I began my birthday. Yes, it is not in caps as I was not excited at all.

I dressed in something usual, nothing new and very somberly made my PUBLIC appearance (i.e. emerged in front of family). Got a wish from Husband who dared not forget and immediately proceeded to the LAB.

On the way I pondered about how the day had begun and how I would have normally welcomed it. Suddenly it made  me feel silly and all the gaiety surrounding my birthday frivolous. I mean I am no longer a Kid. I have to get past celebrating my birth. It is an old miracle. Too old now for excited celebrations.

And then I reached the LAB.

No big suspense here as the tests declared that I was now NORMAL. Phew!!


Unwrapping my Gifts:

1. New Smart Phone gifted by Husband

2. New Sleek Laptop gifted by Sister

3. Mild variant of Dengue sans complications gifted by GOD

Note: October 2013 will  be grander. Cause I will be celebrating the MIRACLE of my Life as I have touched the life of so many people. Celebrating my NOBLITY. Without me in their life, some souls can never find redemption (viz., my Husband-ji).

A New Addiction!!!

Have been very busy lately doing a lot of shopping. The long hours have not tired my legs though and neither do I feel dehydrated at the end of it. In fact my bank balances are also intact. Wondering how I managed to shop in such a manner?

E - WINDOW SHOPPING!!!

Have you seen those cute ads or those crazy ones? The ones where it claims to be child's play or even cheaper than your neighborhood discount store?

I have to say that the ads did not kindle my interest but the actual witnessing of successful purchase by a comrade. Probably that is how trends catch on. And ever since I have been religiously scanning all such sites. Seems like there are many such and some specialize in certain lines of product.

Despite have surfed around and having done my ground work, I am still wary of making that first purchase. A practically empty bank balance is one reason but more than that there are a few issues.

Paisa Vasool ??

Some items I feel do not really give you that price advantage. It is the same as buying in a local store. Whatever the discount shown, it only makes you doubt the quality of the product. With no means of being assured of that, for the time being I prefer to click on that little 'x' in the top right corner.

Fit hoinga kya??

I have a horrid time shopping for clothes and chappals. After many trials I finally emerge with one or two successful acquisitions. Given my peculiar taste, just seeing a picture and choosing does not seem workable. 

Since ages I have been accustomed to trying on footwear and walking a few steps inside the store. How can I give up such an illustrious tradition? And do not start about the dresses part. Sometimes my own tailored suits do not fit well. I am not yet prepared to gamble on the fit.

Agar kaam nahi kare toh??

This is one big doubt. Yes, they will take return but then they won't give  a refund. It will only be a replacement. Agar woh bhi kaam nahi kare toh?

Naya lagta hai, magar...

What about expiry dates? When I pick a bottle of lotion, I check the dates immediately. Sometimes they offer huge discounts and you are left wondering what is that all about.

DEMO NAHI HAI???

This is the most ridiculous part. Even when buying a pen we will write on a paper and then chose. But here cellphones and other electronics are sold only with the pictures to tell the story. We always check any appliance twice or thrice before buying it. 

This is like the Arranged Marriage of previous century where the groom will see his bride only on their wedding day. Such surprises are not that fun.

But kuch toh bath hai:

No pesky sales person watching over your shoulder. (C'mon how can I shoplift a TELEVISION?)

No pesky sales person (BIG ADVANTAGE hence repeated twice)

No need to dress up for the trip

No need to struggle in Traffic to and fro for your expedition

No need to allocate a Shopping time (useful for those who are always on the go)

Par KHABARDHAAR:

I have been testing the waters and plan to place a small order. That way it is not much of a risk and I can get to see the quality of service. 

Some things that I keep buying regularly can be bought online as I already know the nature of the product.

And I shall stay away from straying in to too many of these websites. There are MANY of them out there.

And one more actually, I shall not yield to temptation when faced with a BIG discount on something I do not NEED.

Having said all this, I am simultaneously searching for OSAA (Online Shopping Addicts Anonymous). Just as a back-up cause I do not know when I might need their help.

Goodness Gracious Righteous ME!!!

I have been drafting and deleting for sometime now. Either my post is boring (even for me) or they are too preachy.

Ever got free advice? Guess all hands would be up.

Ever given free advice?

I have. Despite hating free advice I have been pretty jolly when dishing out my fundas of life to some poor listener who just couldn't escape.

There have been many times where I have noticed myself, being too nice and acting too good. Righteous to a fault and saying nonsensical things that some gyan-guru should be saying. In short acting like a Righteous-Goose. I would incessantly list out my experiences and my inferences and therefore Lessons for Life kind of opinions to that one poor listener. An after thought would make me feel foolish for having said those things.

My basic life principles are simple. Live and let live. I believe in non-interference. And yet I go against my own principles and punish those poor souls who unwittingly get caught in my net.

There are some who are gullible enough and come ask for advice. Such occasions are like Feasting and I enjoy them to the core. But then these are few and countable and I can hardly imagine what use my words have been.

I, Whom am I? A person who has not been able to figure out my own life, creating and clearing my own mess, confused and conflicted about my own interests, unfocussed and unbalanced at many times, unforgiving and un-forgetful of my own sins, a person with so many other vices that cannot be framed in to pretty words here.

Surprisingly though, the gullible folk do come back for more. Does that mean what I said really worked for them? Am I really that Wise? Am I really underestimating myself?

Well the simple answer is that, I was experiencing a Brief Spell of Smartness and knew what to tell. And the other party experienced a Brief Spell of Understanding to interpret a deeper meaning to what is being said.


Advice has never worked for me though. I only seem to learn through my own experience. The idea of reading a Self Help book seem so repulsive that I do not even walk near that aisle in a Library. That is the same way I got to realise that I am FREE ADVICE MANIAC.

But lo and behold! Return for my Imperfections where I forget my own Lessons and do the same mistakes once again. But with a small difference. Earlier it used to take a long time to realise what I have done. Now I seem to realise a little quicker. An improvement nevertheless. Hoping that some day that I will be able to realise in advance and avoid the MISTAKE altogether.

Till then I should probably continue declaring that I am a Perfect Human  because Humans are IMPERFECT. (But then by being perfect I am being a imperfect Human and therefore a perfect human and therefore an imperfect human....aaargh!!!!)

What was the point in this post anyway?  God Only Knows!!

to to to Aaauttoooo....

So here I was today morning, walking in the bright hot sun, slowly yet kicking up a dust storm and impatiently chewing at my lips and thereby having lipstick for breakfast.

It is an auto strike and therefore I was forced to walk a few hundred meters and catch a bus. Yes, I am now in advanced stages of Lazy Bum-ness.

My trysts with Auto-wallas has left me with mixed opinions about their clan. There are the good and the bad, the smooth talkers and the ruffians, the honest and the liar and the ones who demand and the ones who beg. Quiet recently I was ditched by two autos in the same evening. The first left me stranded halfway quoting technical difficulties and the second charged me extra extra for no extra effort by him. Since my Jhansi -ki-Rani avatar had gone on a holiday, I turned in to Little-Bo-Peep and paid up.

When in Chennai, I abhor the idea of having to hail an auto to go somewhere. I'd rather travel in an crowded bus than bargain with that slimy auto-driver. When in Bangalore, I would have to repeat my destination to many autos and risk myself a strained voice and neck before finally one agrees. If luck be my side his meter would be correct and i'd be sparred with a confrontation when getting off. Most evenings, Luck would be in the driving seat leaving me to fend for myself.

Chennai :  Auto = Criminal Daring Looters.

Bangalore : Auto = Masters of the Art of saying "NO". (Outcast students of Art of Living?? I wonder!)

There are a few (understatement) BAD memories associated with autos and bet everyone who has ever boarded one would have. And succumbing to the Educated and Decent class expectations, it is I who usually bows down and pays up. One really good memory though. An Angel in disguise helped me and my friends get home when we were stuck some place late evening and the roads leading out were jammed.

But that can't be claimed to be an exception amongst these meanies, because it was a Private Auto.

All said and done, boon or bane I depend heavily on their services. I am actually pretty thankful to the fact that the autos at Bangalore ply with a Meter and I can know what I am being charged.

Finally before saying "The End", I'd like to say "Thank you and Have a Nice Ride back Home"

Unleash the Terror!!

Some people are born with that natural flair for doing things differently from others. I have always stayed in the side-lines admiring them. Then in some attempt to be different and cool myself, I give it a try and make a Fool of myself. Or rather no one even notices but I personally feel Foolish for having done such a thing.

Let me elucidate:

Scene 1: It is an AD-ZAP event. We are split into teams of 5-6 and asked to think of some Product and think of some cool Ad jingles and skit - ads. Like usual my luck on doing something COOL is always low and therefore I end with up like minded people a.k.a NERDS. End result, there we are (I am) on stage, trying to describe an out of the world, insanely super efficient, PEN / PISTOL / SPY CAM et all rolled into one, un-imaginable and super-nerdy Product. With such a product at hand, the DUD of an Ad need not be elaborated here.

On the other hand, a team stands out with its Product. Gone to the dogs they say. I believe they came up with something on the lines of AXE for Man's Best Friend. At that time Angels were yet to fall, but they showed that the B*#@%^S did. Needless to say that they were the winners.

How easily were they able to be Humorous and Successful and we(I) Dull and Dudly.

Scene 2: It is a college event. They were selecting contestants for Singing Competition. It was one of the few times that I actually had the courage to sing in front of Judges. I had been rehearsing an English number. Definitely a stand out from the Kollywood Bollywood numbers the others were to sing. Suddenly I felt like a FOOL for choosing such a stand out gaana. So when my turn actually came, I chose to sing a song that was a Male solo and even before I could get past Line 1, the judges decision was made. OUT.

Then in the heartbreak of being rejected, I got on stage later and sung before the whole college "Aye Raju" parody of Alane by Devang Patel - the eunuch song.

Then I had to leave college that year itself.

Scene 3 to n: There are many other embarrassing instances like

Trying to dress up Cool and ending up like a Cartoon

Trying to walk with panache and then tripping on a gap in the tile.

Trying to talk in a stylish manner and muddling and mixing up the words with the accent.

Trying to eat with etiquette and ending up with the food all over face and dress (happens every time with a Pizza or burger or soup)

Ultimately whenever I TRY I GOOF up big time. And I am yet to develop the attitude of being able to laugh at myself and therefore I largely feel embarrassed at these shortcomings. I am also yet to develop an acceptance of myself and stop TRYing to be something that I am not. With more of my concentration on being myself probably I could have avoided most of these accidents.

But here is the irony. It wouldn't be me if I didn't try to be something more than just me.

Probably all this thinking and analysing is a sign that I am FINALLY growing up. Here's to OLD AGE. Here I Come.

Makings of a blog..

I love to write, yet there hasn't been a single blog drafted in the last 3 months. Probably somebody/something JINXED my regularity. I do remember someone asking if they could share my blog (is it really worth it). Feeling really ashamed of the quality of my work here, I dismissed the idea. Frankly I fear being READ. Yup! That is strange though as I keep checking my blog views and ensure I deliver my blog copies to friends and family. Yet a strange Fear of feeling exposed and laughed at. Guess I worried too much.

So what was I going to write about finally? The Makings of a Blog - what made me put words to my thoughts Once Again.

The Technology: The first and most important aspect to be able to blog is Internet and a device to access. Check and check. Yes, I did have abundant connectivity and no gadget trouble. Well not exactly. I had ceased to use a computer in a long time and taken to blogging via a touch-screen device. Now that was too delicate and uncomfortable for my fingers which were used to beating up the keyboard with every letter that I would put in. The small screen view and certain App problems ensured that I could not enjoy the TYPING part.

Lets just say that the ZEST for blogging returned the day I laid my hands on a LAPPY TOPPY.


The Space: This is a tricky thing. There is no ideal space for the brain to work. The brain starts working on wonderful things even at times when your body is busy off-loading. But for QUALITY creative work, the mind and body need some Special Space. Poets and Writers have their favourite spots wherein their creativity will ebb and flow. Space is vital. Did I have Space? The Right Space? I did have my BEDROOM all to myself. But that did not inspire anything other than SLEEP. Hence the river of creativity went dry.

Since I am blogging now, that must mean I have found the right space, right? Picture this, Temp job, not much work and a cabin all to myself, peace and quiet.

The Time: I should have just said Time and Space and gotten over with it. Getting both together was the Key to this post.

The Best time to write a blog is Office Time. (OMG!! What if my Boss sees this?).


The Thought: Un-interrupted thought flow is key to a sensible blog. Having spent the past two hours with just "the thought" and numerous diversions, I am now once again faced with a DRY spell. Which therefore brings us to the end of this blog.

To sum up.

HAPPY READING.

Ignorance is Bliss!!

Experiencing a moment right now. It is but a small time gap between what you Feel is Real and what is the Reality. Laugh if you feel like as i did chuckle right now. Felt funny writing such stuff.

It was the day CA final results were due. For a brief moment between imagining the result and actually seeing it, I took the liberty of breaking into my world of imagination. What would I do if I had passed, imagine a Rank. Though it was bliss for me (only I was privy to how I had done the exams) for the people around me (family) it was a nail biting moment. Past experiences were harrowing enough for them as I always used to say " yeah I have done well".

But Bliss it actually was as I had finally managed to Pass.

That was a story with a happy ending. But not always the bliss lasts.

Just the other day husband dearest returned from a trip to Pune. I had mentioned a hundred times that biscuits from Kayani bakery are awesome. I was also aware that Mr. Husband was feeling lazy and most likely would return empty handed. Then when he arrived home, the huge backpack fed my imaginations. Had he really been to Kayani's so early in the morning to bring me back those lovely butter cookies? The smell, taste and crunch of those lovely golden biscuits encroached my imaginations.

Alas!! This one does not have a happy ending. The huge size was due to some porcelain complementary gift given. Ignorance was not bliss.

Right now debating on a similar matter. To know or not to know. Yet the temptation to stay in this blissful moment lingers. However it is bound to happen eventually and postponing is definitely not going to change things.

The final verdict - ignorance is waste of precious time a.k.a. Waste of Life..

Lost in a different world!!

Okay am not day dreaming, I am just reading a BOOK.

I normally start reading a book with a fresh mind and only when the rare hour of "I don't feel LAZY anymore" coincides. I also prefer the Not so Serious books that are on the SLIM side. That sums up my literary choice. But once in a blue moon something good happens.

Whenever I talk about books I can only remember a piece of prose that was given in an exam for interpretation. It was in class 9 and I do not remember the exact words. I ended up thinking that it was a write up in Friendship as the lines hinted so. Like a puzzle the words were silent about the subject but kept adding wonderful descriptions about it's / his nature. Like it was a person by itself. Something on lines like takes you far away places, teaches you many things, is your best companion etc etc. I was always bad with puzzles.

Its rainy in Bangalore. No downpours yet but just an perpetually overcast sky that threatens to open up any moment. But like a dog with all bark and no bite it just drizzles and frizzles around here. With that said, the dim lights and cool breeze have all the makings of a lazy afternoon nap.

Thus the scene. A book that has been untouched on my table for months together which finally got pulled out on rainy day and which managed to make me change my ways.

Yes, it was late in the evening after I had napped a while. It was a boring evening with rain clouds waiting outside. It was also a dark evening with sun hiding in the sky. And then it happened.

If I had to praise this book, I'd be out of words. From the first word it had me hooked. On my first sitting, between all my work and breaks I skimmed through the first chapter. It plagued my mind all night and it stopped only when I resumed reading the next day.

As I flipped through the pages, word after word, I found myself lost in it's world. Though I was sitting at home, the visuals of the lone pomegranate tree atop a inverted bowl like hill, smell of freshly baked NAANs, finger cuts from the glass coated kite flying threads seemed REAL. I could see Hassan and Amir in flesh and blood.

As I addictively scour the pages wishing their company to last, I am also equally amazed at how beautifully a story has been told. I only wish if I could something half as good.

The Kite Runner.

I know I am very late at reading this but it's said " better late than never."

Happy Deepavali.... Happy Diwali..

Had a tough time choosing between the two, felt like I was choosing between Rava Ladoo and Coconut Burfi or between Ribbon Bakoda and Thenkozhal. The festival of lights, crackers and sweets.

I would have sounded like a glutton at the end of the previous para but it is unavoidable.

The Thrills:

Waking up at 4am may not sound fun but the idea of being the first one to wake the neighbourhood with a blast of crackers sure gives a high. Unfortunately some faceless neighbour took the honours this year. Moment of glory missed. More cracker bursting will happen when Karthi comes but the REAL competition is on this day only. There is always next year so better luck and less sleep next time.


The Cracks:

This purely refers to those who attempt Gymnastics with fire crackers. FYI guys, it will not fetch you a Gold in Olympics probably a bed in some hospital. Have seen some of the rowdiest stunts played over the years and they just never seem to care. Boys will be Boys.

The Frills:

Dresses, dresses and that too NEW dresses. The best part of this festival is the Nouveau addition to your wardrobe. There is something special about wearing a new dress on this day than on any other. The Oohs and Aahs are the most awaited comments once you manage to step away from that poor MIRROR. It may be mainly due to the history that in many families only this day would yield a new dress. Now I don't want to change the Celebratory mood of this post so I shall quickly move on.

This Deepavali/Diwali has been as special as ever. Ate lots of sweets and savouries which I has actually helped in making. Lit 1 flower pot and 2 sparklers keeping in mind the safety of my new dress. Watched a slew of movies on Television. Managed to call and wish my close relatives and gave all friends a skip. Lazily avoided posting festival greetings on FB and so far haven't been linked to one those bulk-link images. Overall a Diwali/Deepavali well spent.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!!

A Rainy Day

It is cloudy outside and going to rain today. It is also cloudy inside my mind and lets not go about predicting the water works that can be conjured up. I am MOODY today.

I have tried a lot and seem to be unsuccessful in Taming the Wild Beast. What would happen when the Gladiator fails to tame the LION? Well the Lion becomes a GLAD-EATER. Bad joke.

Point is that my failure to tame the Wild Beast would result in my The End and that too not a happy one. The Beast here is my EMOTIONs.

Having lead a sane and calm life for almost 2 months, I dared to declare myself a SAINT. Result was that one small incident was enough to instigate an ugly reaction which I myself could not bear to witness.

I wouldn't have worried if  the ugliness was experienced by my doors and tables. Unfortunately it is me who suffers. Yes I have dished out Wisdom proclaiming that Anger is of no use and therefore it is embarrassing to say that I have faltered from my own Realisations.

To Post or Not To Post? That is the question. Seems like I will post.

Happy Birthday To Me!!

One month ago I made a post. Few weeks ago I lost a post. That leaves me with no new posts in between. Breached my promise to my own-self (own-self???). Being the Analytical Genius (self proclaimed), after deep analysis I present only one valid reason / excuse. I was procrastinating.

Amongst other things there was also the Festive season and guests which required a lot of time for dress-ups and chit chat. Energy levels usually get drained to ZERO.

So why today? Its my Birthday!! I hope no one comments "Happy Birthday" as I have been replying to most of then on FB. So great to receive so many wishes.

This birthday is extremely special as I cut my First Ever Birthday Cake. Yup. But thank god there weren't 28 candles to test my Lung Capacity. I do not know what I had wished for last year but overall I feel greatly GIFTED.

Did I say 28? Time flies. Just some years ago I felt 23 was too old. Age is a Viscious Cycle. You are still treated like a Kid by your Parents and then kids go around calling you "Ganga Aunty".

First week of October was surrounded by Golu Dolls. Second week of  October surrounded by Kids. What better way to ring in the new YEAR!!!