Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Baby in the cradle..

It was her first pregnancy. And looking at her face it was obvious that it had been a mistake. The face of a 17 year old but pregnant and single. A failed love affair which had left her with a broken heart and a baby in the way.

The pregnancy had reached point of no return before she had the guts to tell her parents and that left her with the little choice in life. The solution they sought was simple. Move away to a foreign country to avoid the shame, wait for the delivery and give away the baby soon after. Life would never be the same. But then someone would adopt the child and their daughter can move on and she can live a life that her society would approve of. The chapter was closed.

Savithri held her latest pregnancy test in her hand. The look on her face said it all; it was negative, once again. Married for 7 years, they had postponed children for the first 2, and ever since regretted the decision. The last 5 years had been a painful ordeal, trying to conceive. She had been healthy all her life and even the doctor felt so. But her uterus was a little weak after the 3 miscarriages she had suffered. And ever since, anxious to have a child, every effort had been made.

Temples, medicines and advice from elders came in the hundreds. The anxiety was the villain the doctor opined. But then nothing would cure her of that. Vikram, her husband, supportive and understanding, bore on. He did certainly want a child of his own, they loved each other and it seemed perfect to have a child that would bear witness to their commitment to one another.

The decision was not easy, but was finally made, adopt a child. Vikram's uncle had suggested it. Her friends thought it was a good idea, her family felt otherwise, her husband wanted time to think. They thought of all the reasons they could not have one of their own. Present day and science had all the solutions, but they didn't appeal to her as the right thing to do. The rationale was simple, "Lets give a child a loving home". That helped her make up her mind.

The procedure was long, they had to register with only one children's home, multi-registration was not allowed. For a new-born baby they'd have to wait and it may take over a year, a waiting list would now include their name also. The income criterion was not a problem, as Vikram enjoyed a successful career and Savithri herself was making good money as a computer instructor at a nearby IT institute. Another requirement was for a minimum 5 year long, childless marriage. That was easily accomplished as it was the very reason that had brought them there.

The waiting began.

The young 17-year old, just celebrated her 18th birthday. It was not a very happy celebration as she was due for delivery in another couple of months. Something had changed in her. Repenting the folly of her thoughtless act and wondering about what lay ahead of her, wondering whether what she was going to do was right.

Her parents had been supportive, lucky girl. But they wore the scars of heartbreak and shame. Life as she had known had turned upside down. Her new school was good. People did not ostracise her nor did they stare at her. Her student counselor had ensured that she did not feel left out. Life was looking brighter than ever.

The cramps had started. The baby was not yet due and with a few weeks left, she had taken the chance to picnic with her new friends. It was shocking, not like any pain she had felt before. Her friends panicked but soon gathered nerves and called for an ambulance. The next few hours were the fastest, the speeding ambulance, the rush to the operation theatre, the decision for a C-section and the crying baby.

Savithri had been waiting for a call. The waiting list had been long and she had hoped that a baby boom would shorten her wait and end her anxiety. Her routine had changed; the doom and desperation she had felt had also vanished. Though at times she pondered about her fate, the thought of a baby cheered her up. After all, the idea of giving a good life to a child appealed to her as the right thing to do. And a child would giving meaning and purpose to her life. A mutually beneficial arrangement.

Neetha was recovering from her anesthesia. Her hands immediately traced her flat stomach and scanned the bed for the baby. When she opened her eyes, it was her mother looking down at her with concern. The baby was in the incubator as it was 3 weeks premature and underweight. It was a boy.

The next few days she spent on her bed being told that the child was still in critical care and cannot be disturbed. She yearned to see her new born, but the tubes and monitors she was herself attached to, refrained her from doing so. It was only after a few more days that she realised what had happened.

The phone call that came stirred up the anxieties in her. It was from the children's home. A child was available for adoption, a one year old infant girl. Cold feet was something Savithri had not even felt on her wedding day, but today she experienced the icy chills running down her spine. The idea of adopting a child and the hustle and bustle associated with it had kept her in high spirits all this while. But with the d'day staring at her, second thoughts felt unavoidable.

Vikram was driving rather slow, and that gave more mileage to her thoughts. The preoccupation was something that cannot be missed easily. She wanted to turn back and head home, adoption was out of her league, she was just a regular lady, and she cannot love another's child as her own. But by the time she could talk Vikram to make the u-turn; they were already inside the children's home.

The administrator had worn a skeptical look the whole time; last minute change of mind was not unusual. Despite wanting the children to get adopted, they wanted to also ensure that the children reach the right homes. In-decisive parents would only hamper the child's progress. The year long wait also served as a test for the parents.

Savithri held the picture of the toddler in her hand, the bright eyes and rosy lips and cherubic face would appeal to anyone. Her hands trembled as she passed it on to Vikram, the turmoil in her mind could be easily read by him. He had secretly visited the sleeping child the previous day. The decision from his side had already been made.

The baby was gone; her parents had given it away while she was still unconscious. The anger she felt coupled with her helplessness allowed her to react only with an angst filled scream. Her world crumbled, she had been denied even the joy of seeing the face of her dear one. Life had been unfair to her and had been mean too. She lunged at her parents and wanted to tear them apart. Her weak body wouldn't co-operate and she fell on the floor in a huddle.

The crying of the child woke her up, it was right beside her. It had been a dream, her baby boy lay screaming beside her. A normal child, kicking and wailing while he waited for his mother to wake from her anesthesia. Her fears had become monsters in her imagination. Her parents stood beside her bed as she stirred up, they had been waiting by her side all the while. The tears didn't need any prompting to form; she was filled with some remorse for doubting them and joy at the sound of the child.

They were now a family of four. Neetha had decided to keep the baby; she would live up to the challenge of being a single mother. She could not punish the child for her mistakes. As she left for college, her parents waved goodbye holding their grandson in their hands. He was now the joy of all their lives. A happy ending to a bitter experience.

Savithri was busier than ever, the cradle had been decorated and all the guests had arrived. It was merely for fulfillment of her whim that she wanted to put the toddler in the cradle. Even at just one, Ananya was a handful and putting her in a cradle and keeping her there for a few minutes was a mammoth task. The initial few days with her had been difficult, but as the days wore by she accepted the two new people as her parents. Ananya, unique as she was, completed the puzzle to a home and the happy family celebrated her arrival in the company of all friends and relatives. The cheers and laughter rang through the walls of their home, their hearts now filled with joy. Savithri was beaming joyously as she held Ananya in her arms.

1 comment:

  1. Nice.. emotions described very nicely. gungrats!

    Ippadiki,
    ungal ungal ungal...Parama rasigi :P

    ReplyDelete